Dimple Sandybanks
by Chemo the Herald akaDarthLarry
Summary: Strange LOTR/SW crossover, Luke and Co. end up in the shire about the time Saruman's orcs attack the shire


Dimple Sandybanks  
  
"What's that?" said a hobbit as he pointed off to the Southwest.  
  
"That's a tree." said another hobbit.  
  
"No, I mean that bright flash."  
  
"That's a ... I don't bloody well know, it looks almost like one of Gandalf's fireworks."  
  
It was late morning just after second breakfast and the two hobbits were sitting on a hill at the edge of Hobbiton, smoking their pipeweed. The first hobbit was Fredegar "Fatty" Bolger, the second was Folco Boffin.  
  
"Whatever it is, it seems to be coming down near here", mentioned Folco.   
  
"Ay, Lets go see what it is.", said Fatty.  
  
"I think not, I think I'll just stay here"  
  
"Okay suit yourself"  
  
Fatty walked off to see what the object was; when he got to the crash site he found quite an amazing sight. An YT-1300 and a squadron of X-Wings had landed on a field of mushrooms.  
  
"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Save The Mushrooms!!!!!!!" yelled Fatty. A young man dressed in a black cloak suddenly turned to look at this strange creature, followed quickly by all the other X-Wing pilots.  
  
"What is that creature Commander Skywalker?"  
  
"I don't know, Wedge", replied the young man, "But he doesn't seem to be Imperial, just angry over us crushing theses mushrooms."  
  
"What is that, Luke?" asked a slightly older man as he stepped out of the YT-1300.  
  
"I really don't know, Han, but I think it's sentient", replied Skywalker,"You might want to get The Endor's down here to deal with those creatures in metal armor we saw marching this way".  
  
"Your probably right, I'll call them down", replied Han. He walked back to the YT-1300.  
  
"Rrrrraaaahhhhhhh!" came from inside the ship.  
  
"No Chewie stay inside there is native life and you would probably scare it off", yelled Han, "and while your in there call down the Corvette Endor, we are going to need their help. Oh and tell them to watch that they don't land on any buildings or mushrooms."  
  
"Ow Ow Owww, This guy's strong for his size!!" yelped Luke, as the hobbit viciously attacked him foot, fist and tooth.  
  
"Eeeep", squeaked the hobbit as he was levitated in mid-air.  
  
"He seems to speak heavily accented form of Basic doesn't he, Luke?" asked Wedge.  
  
"Thankfully, yes" replied Han as he climbed out of the YT-1300,"Now we wont have to rely on Golden Rod"  
  
"Who are you and why did you land on MY MUSHROOMS!!!!!!?" yelled a very angry Fatty as he was set softly on the ground, "and for that matter where did you come from?!"  
  
"I am Commander Luke Skywalker and these gentlemen are Han Solo, Wedge Antilles, and the rest of Rogue Squadron and we are from the New Republic planet of Corsucant.", as he gestured to the approtiate people.  
  
"Thank you, but you didn't answer why you landed on my mushrooms", replied Fatty.  
  
"I'm sorry but we didn't see your mushrooms as we were landing." Luke replied, "May I ask good sir what is your name and what species are you?"  
  
"My name is Fredegar Bolger, but I'm known as Fatty, and I'm a hobbit", replied the said hobbit.  
  
"Thank you my good hobbit? are all hobbits this size?", asked Luke.  
  
"Yes we are", answered Fatty, "What was it you were saying about calling down someone called Endor? and what did you say about metal armored creatures?"  
  
"Endor is another ship like these X-Wings and the Falcon.", answered Han as he gestured at the X-Wings and the Falcon, "Actually there she is.", as he pointed skyward at the Corellian Corvette coming for a landing, "and on the way in we saw some metal plated humanoid creatures marching in this direction with what appeared to be bows and crude scimitars. Why, were you expecting a group of beings such as that?"  
  
"No, but they sound like orcs." answered Fatty, "Did you say they were marching this way?"  
  
"Yes, why"  
  
"Bugger!", cursed Fatty, "Not good, not good"  
  
"What's not good?", asked a young lady the same age as Luke debarking from the Endor.  
  
"Apparently something to do with the creatures we saw on our way in", replied Luke, "Fredegar, this is my sister and Han's wife ,Counselor Leia Organa Solo, Leia this is Fredegar "Fatty" Bolger, a hobbit."  
  
"A pleasure to meet you Leia and you all may call me Fatty, orcs are known to kill, maim and mutilate anything they can get there hands on, and we hobbits are not prepared to fight them."  
  
"Is there any possibility they would agree to a diplomatic solution", asked Leia.  
  
"No.", replied Fatty," The only way you can deal with them is to kill them."  
  
" I guess that means we must help you fight off these orcs.", said Luke, "what kind of weapons do you have?"  
  
"Very few, some have hunting bows and that's about it.", replied Fatty.  
  
"I guess that means we must equip you with blasters, at the rate they were moving it will take them a week to reach here, so we will have time to train you",  
  
interrupted Han.  
  
"Could you get your local militia to meet us out here?", asked Leia  
  
"Militia, what's that?, if you mean the Shirrifs, probably", replied Fatty.  
  
"A militia is a volunteer army", answered Luke.  
  
"Oh...We Hobbits are peaceful folk, we have nothing like that, closest thing we have are the Shirrifs, they keep foreigners out of our land and this would be their responsibility anyways", said Fatty.  
  
"Ok, could you possibly get them over here fairly quickly?", asked Han.  
  
"Some of them yes, some of them no, The Shire is one hundred and twenty miles across, the shortest way.", replied Fatty.  
  
"Could we use the speeders to carry them here?", asked Han.  
  
"Speeders, what are speeders??", asked Fatty.  
  
"A speeder is a repulsorlift vehicle used to transport people and equipment over long distances quickly.", replied Leia.   
  
"That is a speeder", said Luke gesturing at one as it was unloaded from the Endor.  
  
"Oh that might help, but first we need to meet with the mayor, and preferably the Thain and the Master of Buckland", said Fatty.  
  
"I'll take it these are your local officials.", replied Leia.  
  
"Yes they are, the mayor is in charge of the whole Shire, The Thain is in charge of Tookland and the Master is in charge of Buckland", said Fatty.  
  
"Ok, where are these three officials?", asked Leia.  
  
"The Mayor is about fifty miles away in Michael Delving, The Thain is about fifteen miles away in Tuckburrow, and the Master is fifty-five miles away in Brandy Hall . If we go to my house I can get a map.", replied Fatty.  
  
"How far is your house?", asked Leia.  
  
"It is about three quarters of a mile.", answered Fatty.  
  
"Could we use our speeder to take you there?", asked Leia.  
  
"RRRRRAAAAAHHHHHH!", came from inside the ship.  
  
"Eeep", yelped Fatty as he jumped about three feet into the air.  
  
"Sorry Fatty, that's Chewie, a Wookiee", said Han, "No Chewie we won't leave you behind, you can come out now"  
  
"Be warned, Fatty, he is about six foot tall and completely covered in hair and he won't hurt you unless you try to hurt one of us or beat him at a game.", warned Leia.  
  
"Ok....Wow he is big, ain't he, Hello Chewie.", greeted Fatty as the Wookiee climbed out of the Falcon.  
  
"Rrrrrraaaaaahhhhhhh?", growled Chewie.  
  
"This is Fatty, a hobbit, yes he is sentient, and no, he won't hurt us.", introduced Leia, "and Fatty this is Chewie, a Wookiee."  
  
"Rrraaahhh."  
  
"He said it's a pleasure to meet you", translated Han.  
  
"We might want to go get the officials now", said Fatty, "if these orcs are as close as you say we better hurry!"  
  
Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie and Fatty all climbed into a speeder and drove off to Fatty's house, leaving Rogue Squadron and some of the New Republic troopers to watch the ships, Wedge and another New Republic trooper climbed into another Speeder and followed. They first stopped at Fatty's house to pick up a map, getting many strange looks and squeaks of fear from the other hobbits. They then went to get the Master and bring him to Hobbiton, were they were going to meet. As they neared the town of Whitfurrows Fatty spoke up.  
  
"Can these speeders go across on the ferry?", asked Fatty.  
  
"They can go straight over the water if necessary, why?", answered Han.  
  
"Because if we turn southeast here we can get to Brandy Hall quicker if we go on the Bucklebury Ferry.", answered Fatty.  
  
"Ok we will head that way", replied Luke, who was driving the speeder.  
  
They turned southeast then continued on making a straight line for Bucklebury Ferry and Brandy Hall. They crossed the Brandywine River on the Bucklebury Ferry for sake of Fatty's sanity. When they reached Brandy Hall they were stopped by the door hobbits who then admitted them when informed that they had an emergency message for The Master. They left the New Republic trooper outside to watch the speeders as they went inside.   
  
"Who are these people and where are they from?!", yelled the Master, "I thought you had an emergency message for me, I am a very busy man, get on with it!!"  
  
"Master, we are from The New Republic. I am Commander Luke Skywalker and theses are Counselor Leia Organa Solo, General Han Solo, Wedge Antilles, and Chewbacca the Wookiee", replied Luke as he gestured to the respected people. "We have come to inform you that their is a large force of Orcs marching this way"  
  
"Bloody Hell...I can't do anything about that, what am I supposed to do about a large force of orcs!!??", he replied.  
  
"We came to ask you to come with us to meet with the Mayor and the Thain to discuss this problem and to discuss us assisting you with the orcs.", answered Leia.  
  
"Thank you, how long will it be before they get here?", asked the Master.  
  
"About a week.", replied Han.  
  
"Are you kidding me!!! How can I meet with the Thain and the Mayor in a week its sixty miles to the Thain in Tuckburrow and fifty more miles after that to the Mayor in Michael Delving!!", yelled the Master.  
  
"Don't worry, Master, we have speeders.", interrupted Fatty.  
  
"Speeders?? What in the name of Eru Iluvatar is a speeder?", asked the Master  
  
"A speeder is a repulsorlift vehicle used to transport people and equipment over long distances quickly.", answered Luke.  
  
"Ok... I guess I have no option but to go with you.", said the Master.  
  
They left the Master's office and piled into the speeders and headed for the Thain. In the Thai's office they had a similar conversation as they did in the Mayor's office. After visiting the three officials they headed back to Hobbiton to meet aboard the Endor.  
  
Aboard the Endor the meeting went as well as could be expected. The officials grudgingly decided that they need to equip and teach the shirrifs to use blasters. It was decided each of the officials would go out with a dozen speeders to gather the shirrifs and any other hobbit willing to fight. Before long The Thain returned with all twelve speeders full of battle ready hobbits and a request for three dozen more speeders. He was followed promptly by the Master and the Mayor who both had another twelve speeder loads waiting plus their shirrifs.  
  
Within a day there was a thousand hobbits plus five-hundred shirrifs waiting for training. Once the message had gotten across that if they didn't fight they would die, the hobbits began to flood to Hobbiton.   
  
The New Republic troops under the supervision of Han and Leia began to train the hobbits to use blasters, while Wedge and the rest of Rogue Squadron trained a dozen of the most promising hobbit's to fly X-Wings, and Chewie flew recon missions in the Falcon to track the orcs progress toward the Shire. Meanwhile it was Luke's job to keep the officials and Fatty, who had been given the rank of General and the post of Commander of all Shire forces, informed of how the training was going on.   
  
During one of their pre-first breakfast early morning meetings General Fatty asked Luke, "How is the fighter corps training going"  
  
"Wedge tells me that they are learning quickly, but they still haven't learned that smoking pipeweed in an X-Wing isn't the most intelligent thing to do.", replied Luke.  
  
"I'll talk to them about it", answered General Fatty.  
  
At that moment the Falcon with Chewie onboard landed.  
  
"Rrrrrrrraaaaaahhhhhhhh!"  
  
"He says that he's just returned from recon duty the orcs and he has some very bad news", translated Han.  
  
"RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"  
  
"Shiznit...He says there about five thousand orcs and they have reached Sarn Ford, they will have reached the bounds by Supper-time"  
  
"I'll sound the Alarm", said Luke.  
  
"RED ALERT, RED ALERT, all Shire troops to the speeders, all training personnel to the Endor, all pilots hobbit and otherwise to the pad, all Republic troopers to your speeders!", blared the megaphone.  
  
"Are the hobbit pilots ready to be stationed at Sackville?", asked General Fatty.  
  
"They should be but I'll station Rogue Squadron there anyways to back them up when the fight begins.", answered Wedge.  
  
"Good, I do believe all commanders and officials shall be stationed on board the Endor.", said General Fatty.  
  
"Yes, but we are going to be stationing Endor at Longbottom in case we need to back up the other troops.", said Han  
  
"That is ok, lets get these soldiers moving", said Fatty.  
  
The hobbits promptly began boarding speeders which as soon as they were loaded took the hobbits to their defensive positions at the bounds. The X-Wing hobbits, Luke Skywalker, Wedge Antilles and the rest of Rogue Squadron began to board their X-Wings, as soon as they were all onboard they took off to fly to Sackville. The last to leave was the commanders in the Correlian Corvette Endor who flew to Longbottom and set up their command post there.  
  
The defenses were centered on the road to Sarn Ford in three rows a mile wide. The E-Web equipped hobbits were standing in the first row, behind them was a row of blaster rifle hobbits, and behind them was the back row of Thermal Detonator launcher equipped hobbits and New Republic Troops.  
  
The orcs came up in usually orc fashion, i.e. no organization, just generally stay in a large group. As soon as the orcs were within a quarter of a mile of the defensive line the X-Wing hobbits and Rogue Squadron swept over chopping lines through the middle of the formation, followed by thermal detonators from the back row and blaster fire. Suddenly a large group of orcs broke through using the bodies of their fallen comrades to shield them from blaster fire. Luke saw this and brought his X-Wing down to ten meters of altitude and jumped out, gliding down to earth with the force. As the orcs saw him dropping they began to open fire with their bows. Luke parried all the arrows with his lightsaber, he soon began to get a large pile of ash beneath him from cooked arrows. As the orcs began to run out of arrows he charged. Ducking and weaving under scimitars he began to take down the orcs. The orc commander charged up and prepared to take a swing at Luke's head, Luke parried with his lightsaber and the scimitar was cut in half and fell broken to the ground, he then put his saber through the orc's body. As their commanders body fell to the ground in two pieces, the other orcs finally showed a sign of intelligence and ran like their arses were on fire  
  
"We have won!", yelled General Fatty.  
  
"They will be back with more orcs, we'd better continue training", replied Luke.  
  
"Rrrrrraaaaaahhhhh!"  
  
"Chewie says he's detected something on scanners.", translated Han.  
  
"We're coming", replied Luke, "What is it Chewie?"  
  
"RRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"  
  
"It's a flight of Imperial Landing Craft and a squadron of TIEs.", translated Han.  
  
"It's not over yet......", said General Fatty.  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
1 


End file.
